A Pastor’s Fee: $8898.00

This is a story about having too much coffee before going to bed, ad quick recounting of a dream.  This literally shocked me awake, and I had to laugh when I finally came to.
    To set the background players:

  • My Wife – no explanation neeed there
  • Pastor Luke – The Lead Pastor at my church where I live
  • Tracy Lawrence – Country Music star who had a great run in the ’90s
  • Placerville, CA – A formerly small (not so much any longer) Gold Rush town up highway 50 o the way to Lake Tahoe
>For some reason my wife tells me I need to go pick up some abandoned or homeless animals at “a place” downtown. So I hop in the car – which turns out to be an old 1970’s Datsun or Toyota – probably the faded green Datsun 1200 my dad and Step mom used to own when they lived up there. (Not pictured in this link, but close.).
So I bee-bop down town and soo the place =, typick two story wood framed building with an elevated wood boardwalk out front. I pull up to the shop and back into a space – which was on the boardwalk for some reason – my arm and head hanging out the driver side window staring at the rear whell as I snuggle into the space. This is a dream. Nothing makes sense
So I pop out and talk to a woman at the place, looking at the animals roaming the porch, and told her I was here to pick up the abandoned animals. She quickly responds to come back after a while and they will get the animals “ready”.
I don’t recall the motion of either getting our or getting back into the car, but I turn the corner and head up a hill where there is some high netted (think Golf and Driving range high nets) garden spaces – two of them. One was owned by a veterinarian I think I knew, but never saw, and the next space, a rather unkempt but functioning garden. As I stare at this latter garden I hear a man singing a distinct Tracy Lawrence song – “I see It now” – with that distinct Tracy Lawrence voice. I turn around and a barrel bodied blonde guy with a black cowboy hat is walking around singing this tune. ( I don’t know T.L.s current body shape – remember this is just a weird altered-half-reality dream.)
I call him out and he admits he’s Tracy Lawrence and that music hasn’t been producing as much as he’d like so he runs this garden to make up the difference. LOL. Okee doke!
I get the call the animals are ready and to come on back. Again, I don’t recall ever getting out or getting into the car, but I’m coasting back down the hill to the place, pull into the parking lot and shot up to the boardwalk. Approaching the rickety screen door, guarded by a single, old yellow (literally, yellow) incandescent lightbulb. I was handed a bill for $8,898 – wha wha what!? (My real-life still asleep heart started beating hard.). I was just there to pick up some animals, not get repairs done. Wasn’t making sense.
So I push back, the lady inside yells to hold on – then out pops Pastor Luke! Huh!? He starts explaining the bill and I am quickly resolved to the idea he is the proprietor veterinarian of this establishment. Uh-huh. Okay.
“Why so much” I ask. Walking us out into the parking lot to empty bags of trash in a dumpster he tells me “there were a few extractions [whatever he extracted!!?? Teeth I presume] and some washings.”. Then he reassures me “you are getting some monsters there, recoiling and hissing. Good luck handling them.”
As I am still reeling from this news, some Autonomous driven vehicle – probably the Datsun – pulls up between Luke and me. And in pile these two overweight white trash gals – as if they’d been up partying too hard the previous night. One of them was navigating the passenger door to get in – repeatedly pulling down on her read 70’s style blouse to cover the fact she had no pants on.


Then I woke up at 5:30am this morning. I couldn’t handle anymore of that. It took me 30 minutes to recover from the fact I didn’t owe that money and I didn’t have to bring any rabid monster animals home.
Oh-Man! I need to watch how much Starbucks I drink after 4pm.